Advice column ask Louie
High school can be a confusing time with relationships, friendships, and school in general. I sent out a Google Form to the Louisville students that needed advice on these important topics and answered the questions in the article below! These are universal questions, so if you’re struggling with one of these topics, I hope these help you.
Love Life
“How do you know you have a crush and it’s not just a good friend?”
Sometimes friendship and crushes can be intertwined. Deciphering between friendship and a crush can be confusing, but starting out as friends can lead to the best relationships. Feeling comfortable around someone and having a connection with them is a good basis for a future (potentially romantic) relationship. If you feel like you may be developing feelings for your friend, it is totally normal and can actually turn into a great/unexpected situation.
“Is long distance ever worth it?”
It honestly depends on the situation. Long distance can be difficult and a lot of work, but it can also be very rewarding. As long as you make sure to communicate and leave enough time for each other, whether it’s FaceTime, texting or maybe a handwritten note, it can definitely be worth it. But also, if it seems to not be working out, there is nothing wrong with taking a hiatus from the relationship, or even breaking-up altogether.
“Why do people need to date as soon as they start high school? Is there a need to?”
There is definitely no need to date in high school. Sometimes the stars align at the right time, and you end up in a relationship with a person you really like, but that is not always the case. It is better to wait for the right time/person, even if you may feel a little left out.
Friendships
“How do I get people to like me?”
I know this is such a cliche, but just be yourself. There are people out there who have the same interests and hobbies as you, so don’t feel like you have to change yourself to get people to like you. High school is such a short period in your life, so just know that you are going to learn a lot the next few years about yourself and the world, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself and your relationships.
“If a friend did you wrong, would you want them to reach out or give you space?”
Definitely reach out. It is better to communicate and talk things through, instead of leaving your friend to assume what happened. Getting closure is the best way to deal with things. However, if you reach out to your friend and they tell you that they are not ready to talk yet, then you should give them space. But it is always best to talk things out first and then go from there.
“How can you tell if a friendship is healthy or not?”
You can tell if your friendship is healthy if you feel like you can be yourself around them without feeling bad about yourself or embarrassed of your interests. If you feel anxious before hanging out, or feel bad after hanging out with your friend, then chances are it’s not very healthy. Also, sometimes it is best to take a quick breather from your friend and give each other space, and then come back to each other and decide from there if it’s healthy.
“How can you not let people walk all over you? I'm struggling with standing up for myself when people do me dirty.”
Standing up for yourself is not easy. But if someone is being mean to you, you have a right to tell them that what they’re doing is not right. However, if you feel like you aren’t able to voice your opinion, or it seems like words die on your tongue, or maybe you can’t even think of anything to say in the moment, it may be best to just distance yourself from those people all together. If someone you know is making you feel bad about yourself, or putting you in uncomfortable positions that you can’t say no to, there is nothing wrong with finding other people to spend your time with.
School
“How would you recommend managing time to finish homework and other work during the day?”
Always have a designated time to do homework and a good place to study that has a limited amount of distractions. If you feel like you can’t get any work done at your house, maybe stay at school for an extra hour to finish all your homework in the library. If you have extracurriculars right after school, maybe go to your local Barnes and Nobles or library to have a quiet place to study.
“Should I have a sure idea on what I want to do with my life after high school?”
No, there is nothing wrong with not knowing what to do with your life after high school right now. You can always apply undecided into college if you feel like you’re not sure what field you want to go into. Even if you did have an idea, it might change in the next few years as you take more classes and experience more things. Just keep an open mind when it comes to experiencing new things because it may be the thing that you fall in love with!
“How can you have a social life, as well as keeping good grades in school?”
Having a balance between your social and school life in high school is definitely a trial and error situation. I would recommend that you have a chunk of time during the weekend to complete work, like maybe Saturday morning, and then treat yourself to a hangout with your friend. If you spend too much time hanging out with your friends, then you might feel stressed when it comes to catching up with your work, but if you only do work and never leave time for yourself, then you may become restless and lose motivation for school. Both are very important, so just make sure you structure time for both.
I hope this article helped answer a burning question on your mind or gave you insight on high school!