I Hate Everyone But You
Why I hate the "I hate everyone but you" trope
Zia Eger-Slobig '25
Junior Copy Editor
We have all felt, at least once in our lives, as though no one understands us or everyone is out to get us. This teen-angst attitude, when gone to the extreme, becomes misanthropy. However when this person finds the one person they tolerate or even love, it’s the birth of the “I hate everyone but you” trope.
Oftentimes this trope comes off as sweet or innocent, however it is actually far from that. The character is seemingly trying to get attention from their friends or parents by choosing to date these reckless, wild people. These relationships are typically between a stereotypically un-interested loner and a more popular or well-liked person.
Jade and Beck from “Victorious”
This relationship is very important to distinguish from a healthy relationship as many of us grew up almost idealizing their relationship. Jade and Beck, from the point of view of a child, were perfect for each other, and if they were viewed in a negative light, Jade was the problem.
As I rewatched this show, I not only picked up on the inappropriate jokes and crude humor hidden in plain sight, but I also noticed the toxicity of the relationships and friendships portrayed.
Jade West is a “bad” and “scary” girl who has dyed hair, piercings and an affinity for scissors. She is rough around the edges and is consistently seen bullying or mocking her peers. Beck Oliver is a popular teen with a passion for cars, flannels and hair mousse.
Their relationship, throughout the show, is on-and-off as they are constantly fighting. Even when they are on seemingly okay terms, they repeatedly nitpick each other, whether that be Jade’s attitude towards their friends or Beck being too nice to girls.
Rory and Jess from “Gilmore Girls”
In your younger life, you probably watched Gilmore Girls. As we meet Rory and watch her grow up, we see her enter and exit many relationships. Her second relationship is with Jess, a “bad boy” who is too angsty to respect his peers and especially authority figures; however he has a soft spot for Rory, a nerdy, quiet girl.
Jess, throughout the show, displays that he has no regard towards anyone except for her. Rory, up to the point of meeting Jess, is a ‘goody two shoes’; the stereotypical studious good girl. She embodies the small town spirit, whereas he is a true city boy. This is even seen the first time that they meet each other as he wants to sneak out whereas she just wants to join the dinner that has been cooked for them.
Being the sheltered child she is, she is intrigued by his aloofness and rebellious nature. In this relationship, Rory finds herself expecting change from him, to fulfill her rose-colored image of him.
Tate and Violet from “American Horror Story”
Tate is a therapy patient of Violet’s father following their recent move to Los Angeles from the East coast. Tate is a very disturbed and likely psychopathic teenage boy who has homicidal ideations. Violet herself is a troubled teen who struggles with a crippling self image and a broken home life due to her father’s affair. They both portray the wannabe misanthrope character who is filled with rage and envy.
Tate and Violet are able to connect with each other through trauma bonding and a sense of security they find within each other. Violet, who feels completely misunderstood, finally begins to feel understood by Tate. Much like Violet, Tate comes from a dysfunctional family, and together they share the idea that everyone but them are posers and fakes. Tate, however, takes this to an extreme as he is very protective of Violet and willing to do anything and everything for her.
Drawing of Tate and Violet in "American Horror Story"
This relationship is extremely toxic because Tate becomes attached to Violet and, in turn, loses his own individual identity. This is a great example of how being someone’s “whole world” is not necessarily positive or something flattering. Tate and Violet are an example of the necessity of having a focus that is not solely based around your partner.
Rather than seeing these relationships as guidance or even a healthy example, we must see them for what they truly are: TOXIC. We are not meant to be isolated creatures who only find attention and understanding in our partners. Find a relationship that is healthy and allows for friendships to also exist. Do not settle for toxicity, but rather know your worth as a lovely and precious individual.