Too many bucks, not enough stars

Zia Eger-Slobig '25

Editor-In-Chief of Content

Join me as I rate the latest releases from Starbucks! The second I started my order at the Starbucks on Dumetz I was greeted with questioning faces. Perhaps it was the combination of energy drinks, “boba” and two other drinks with names too long to remember.

This will be listed in order of my least favorite to favorite.

Melon Burst Iced Energy

This was an experience to say the least. Once the neon pink drink hit our tongues, the immediate reaction was “woah”. The flavor left me, Ms. Canfield and Mx. Hernandez at a loss for words. To me, it tasted like how chemical cleaning solutions smell. To both Mx. Hernandez and Ms. Canfield, it was reminiscent of a bad Red Bull flavor. We deemed the drink unfinishable due to both it only being available in a Venti as well as its battery acid-like flavor.

Summer-Berry Lemonade Starbucks Refresher

The name is not encapsulating the reality of this drink which is, in actuality, is a watered down lemonade featuring popping pearls or “boba”. The drink tastes like slightly flavored water with a weird vibrant blue tint. The “boba” was overwhelming, compared to the underwhelming flavor of the drink. Due to the nature of the “boba” the process was an inescapable loop of drinking more. Due to the bright colors and lack of flavor we deemed this drink what you would be a good “order for a small child”.

Iced Apple Crisp Non-Dairy Cream Chai

This drink is third on my list however Ms. Canfield disagreed and would place it higher, nonetheless this is my article. This drink was unbearably sweet, however I am new to the Starbucks Chai community. At first, I felt like I was transported to the candle aisle of TJ Maxx, attempting to find the worst smelling candle. The taste was reminiscent of potpourri put out on Thanksgiving by my mother to create a fall atmosphere within the house.

Frozen Tropical Citrus Iced Energy with Strawberry Puree

To be frank, this tasted like every other starbucks refresher with a chemical aftertaste. We all felt the size was too large and is honestly the reason we would not order again. Due to the frozen aspect even at 8 a.m. it began to melt, leaving the ice floating above the more concentrated liquid below. It tasted like strawberry without the intended citrus notes. As I finished up the drink I also began to be plagued with strawberry seeds which all gathered at the bottom. It was a decent drink but it didn’t leave me wowed.

Left to right: Iced ACNCC, Iced NSCCM, MBIE, Frozen TCIESP and S-BLSR

A display of the various drinks

Iced Non Dairy Salted Caramel Cookie Matcha

Reading the title you’re likely imagining a drink from Willy Wonka’s imagination, but that’s all wrong. The drink didn’t need that name because it confuses the drinker with what they are buying. In reality, this had seemingly no trace of caramel but was instead oat milk matcha with cookie chunks floating around. This made it by far the most tolerable drink on the list; even Ms. Canfield called dibs on finishing it.

This is my opinion and I found the experience fun no matter the nature of the drinks. Starbucks is always putting out new items. Next time switch up your order— you might love it or you might find a new thing to bash.

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