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Aidan Altman '25
Junior Copy Editor
Every romantic comedy protagonist is charming and quirky. Which stereotypical female lead fits you best?
The Girl Best Friend
Did the friend that you've been friend-zoning for all of your life finally discover the "one?" Do you now see what a catch they are as a result of this? Instead of spending time thinking about how delusional you are for doing this, start the emotional equivalent of armed warfare by attempting to ruin their most memorable day. Keep in mind that you don't want to see this person happy with the girl they proposed too. If you are the ‘Girl Best Friend’, you repeatedly have assured your family that your ‘friend’ is just a friend and that you will find a partner at some point. You are just more focused on your career and are not ‘distracted’ by love and meaningless relationships.
Never been kissed
It's crucial to keep in mind that the moment one hits 30, their love life permanently ends, making any future dating seem impossible and unattainable. Use this as an excuse to complain endlessly to everyone about your lack of a boyfriend, especially to your male best friend who is openly in love with you. If you don't, you can end up content and childless, a situation that practically everyone in your family constantly reminds you about.
Sophomores on the cover of "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days"
3. The Workaholic
If you choose to pursue a job for yourself, it will have made you so deliriously successful that you have concluded you are just beyond love. Who needs true love when you have an endless supply of office supplies? In this situation you definitely have worked for a magazine prior to the demise of print media and are obscenely unqualified for your position. You most likely left your smalltown in the middle of nowhere the minute you turned eighteen and have never been back since. However, you randomly are bound to run into and end up falling in love with someone from your town, preferably a guy who is your total opposite; a man with no ambitions or job.
4. The Typical Brunette
It will define your entire character if you made the terrible mistake of not being a tall and skinny Hollywood blonde. Remember to consider it very heroic behavior on the part of the man (played by Hugh Grant usually) when they manage to fall in love with you despite the fact that you have natural brown hair. The men deserve all the praise in the world for being decent human beings.
5. The Girl Who Doesn’t Care
Have you always denied love? Do you not believe in love at first sight and soulmates? Well, you are definitely the snobby rebel. You believe you are above everyone else because you are not tied down by high school cliches. And you do not care if you are unpopular or that everyone hates you because you are obnoxious. Your best friend, sister, or some close relative is most likely some ditzy and materialistic girl that you often make fun of. However, eventually you end up revealing your soft and vulnerable side to some random guy no one expected you to be with.
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